I Am Pathetic.

Amazingly, I caught myself once more in a shallow fucked up situation. I didn't know what was more pathetic. The fact that I cried in major public; my crazy hormones flying all over the place which in turn made me feel so frustrated with everything around me; the finals and how I'm still so raw about what's happening and how I'm gonna pass it; or the fact that someone wanted to borrow me money because of how pathetic my bloody pathetic situation is and further more enhance my pathetic-ness.
Figures... How I could feel so much when all that happened was merely a "dispute" in my ATM card. But of course, because of that, I'm b.r.o.k.e. with maybe less than 50cents in my pursue. Yippie...! I'm the happiest young lady in the world, I could just feel my heart tingling with joy and clenched fists.
Suddenly something hit me painfully hard in the heart. I missed my daddy. I missed my mummy. I have been depending on them so much financially eversince I've been living alone. So far I haven't done any shit to repay their deeds. What frustration meant to them? And what it means to me? There's a big gap right there. The thing is, my daddy have been constantly teaching me about this thing called life. Through his emotions, cognitive and most importantly, his most valuable - experiences. Whatever my parents have been through, I salut. I'd never understand the exact same confusions, but I'd know for sure that I can distinguish them through mummy's and daddy's eyes.
I love you, Daddy.
I love you, Mummy.
I shall cherish this life. For better or for worse, for everything that I have felt, am feeling or will be feeling in future, for all the little things that would alter my emotions, for any other things that would change my life. For now, for always, for as long as I remember the legacy of you, my mother and father, who have brought me into this world. Beautiful, talented, strong both physically and mentally, challenging, prepared, confident and still learning all in my own way. There are yet so many things for me to observe and relate to in this world, for it is too big. Mayhap I might feel a little lost at times (or most of the time), yet I long for success, for a future as someone who could contribute not just to myself, but to you; to make a small difference in this world; it doesn't matter, as long as I could reach that tiny step, I would die a happy woman in my later years.

With Love and still growing up,
Your Babe <3.