Coming On Too Fast?

Boy-girl relationships, regardless of being friends, a part of your family or simply officially in a relationship. Where and when do you know the boundaries? Or is it just as simple as labeling the title like how we all label designer merchandises, Gucci, Prada… etc?
I guess in this kind of situation, we’d all have to magically turn into optimists, though sometimes at some point we do portray ourselves into the lines of being pessimists, it’s simply inevitable.
Last few days I’ve brought myself to one of the unavoidable bonds between my classmates in English class for this semester. Not all of them, but some. In which my right mind do not feel any comfort in being stuck in this sort of situation because I’m a believer in “not-getting-close-to-your-classmates-in-college-because-you-can-do-much-better-than-that” personal theory. The thing is, the whole theory sort of back fired on me after having lunch with them. Apparently some of them do have brains, and they are pretty nice to hang out with, despite age, gender, social status differences. I must admit, it was enjoyable having company since we all have somewhat socialized in class, it was a change for me to have been around them outside of class. Sadly enough though, this all happened on the last day of class for the semester, next week happens to be the finals. Sigh…
I really thought that either way it was hard for any person to accept me the way I am, because only people who understand my movements would be able to get along with me. But there I was proven wrong again, because seeing so, they looked up to my perky self, the way I was so rude yet funny? LOL. It caught me off-guard there but I’m glad to know that I’ve made a few nice friends. At least now every time I walk across the hallways I’d know who to smile at and I’d have some comfort in knowing that college isn’t such a bad place to be, there is civilization here!
Now the main issue troubling my thoughts is that I think I’m caught in between the same rituals of falling head over butterflies for “Versace”. He is completely absolutely totally opposite of my taste in boys. Or should I say another backfire? Boy I must’ve dashed right between the signs without even stopping to look at any because I should’ve been warned about things like this. I completely did not know that despite everything that’s been going on, the slightest possibility of romance would crop itself into my heart right now. Timing sure knows how to take its toll on a person when they are not alert. This is wrong. Out of the lines. It’s unfair for me, for I am so gullible in this situation. I just can’t help it, what have I done to the male species to deserve this? Maybe I’ve rejected too much that I’m now the subject of rejection? Or am I just clueless, always falling into bloody traps? I am thinking of being gay, it just doesn’t feel right to me; I’m too straight (so Nicole says).
The only thing I’m secretly hoping is that I could contain myself from humiliation and take things easy because I’m just too afraid to face it. Yes, we do text each other. And yes, I believe there are occasional flirts. But the flow of the relationship between us is like an uneven chart going up and down, back and forth between friends and something else above friends, which is confusing. And which is my weaker point. I do not wish for him to resent me for coming on too strong, neither do I want to give him the feeling that I don’t give a damn, because I do. I think about it so often these days I think I must be crazy, he’s not even my type!
What are the odds for you to fall for a person who isn’t even on your list? Or worse, far from your list!
Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. Things just happen randomly and soon enough, before I forget to breathe I’d already have forgotten that I ever had feelings for him. Until then, we’ll see how it goes.

I’m done with my long story so thank you for staying tuned. Have a nice day.

With Love,
Xoxo.