Should I Still Be Trying?

Being in ADP for 3 semesters since last year is not exactly something I couldn't handle. I admit, I fucked up all my semesters, nearly including the one I'm currently in. However, I've disciplined myself not to skip ANY classes (sorry Mr. Izwan, perhaps skipping a few classes of Islamic Studies is inevitable for me, I've always hated this bloody subject since high school) and obeyed with my parents' advice.

Today I was a few minutes late for my CHEM101 class. The moment I stepped into the 12th floor hallway I realized that if I were to knock on the classroom door and attend the class then getting a spicy scolding from Ms. Bessie would be a fucked up way to start my day.
At this point, being the fucked up person as I already am (takes time to change, OK?), would rather choose to ignore the consequences that I might never be accepted back into college if I failed this sem again.

I mean seriously though, can't a girl just chill? Plus I was sitting at the nearest cafe doing some
Psychology revision cos I was going to have a test about it later on. I thought I did pretty well for the test and I'm feeling good about it. All thanks to the time I had during the whole CHEM101 period. Right now I know what you must be thinking.

"Fuck la Sarah, you should've attended the class even though you were late and you should've studied for the test earlier la. You stupid idiot!"

WELL FUCK YOU. =P

The best part of the story is that I'm sitting in the library right now typing this new post because I am pissed. Pissed at what? You must be asking.

Well, my dear friends, I am pissed at the attendence marks given to me for Chemistry classes. Fucking retarded piece of crap I've got 3 missed lessons posted up on the school's website when I've only skipped like 1 class? Hell yeah I get my ass up for classes every freaking day and yet some people percieve me to be transparent? Can't they see me sitting in class everyday?? FUCK ADP. Lies! ALL LIES!!! I ATTENDED ALL MY CLASSES BITCH!

Well I'm getting this all sorted out when class resumes next week. Why the hell does this happen during a weekend eve? Am I not trying hard enough? Well I know I haven't but I'm not as fucked up as I look or act OK????????? Geez... This is giving me a heart attack. Where is liberty when you need it?


Not giving any love today.
Bye~ <3

Brave.

I've never expected sympathy,
I've never learned to lean on nobody,
Yet lately it feels so differently,
Obviously everybody needs somebody.

When you don't know who to trust,
Rely too much on your lust,
You realize you need help,
You don't want to but desperately, it's a must,
Without it your world turns to dust.

I reached out for the final cry for help,
It's disappointing when all you get is a slap,
But you tell yourself, "Hey stupid, don't you cry!",
Just stand back up and never say goodbye.

The true confession is that we're pathetic,
We convince ourselves that miraculously there'll be magic,
Then chill around and try to forget it.

So everyday I force myself to face the day,
Deep down I know we all feel the same,
Though the journey would sometimes sway us away,
I know for sure I could be brave.


Xoxoxo. <3

Lately.

It's been a whole damn month since I've updated. My apologies, fellow mates. The ship I've been boarding sank halfway through the journey across South China sea. LOL.
27th January - the day I was born. 24th January - the night my dearest friend Nicole and I traveled upwards Penang, my father's hometown to celebrate CNY.
We hitched a ride with my aunt and yes the journey was very tiring... I nearly lost my mind when there wasn't even a second I could take to steal a bloody smoke. I felt like a retarded Llama.
After 6 agonizing hours, we got off Juru toll where my cousin picked us up. It's been like.. seriously a year since I saw my dad's family so it was sort of awkward when we got off my aunt's car and hugging with those people. Like duh... social social ok?
It was so fun back in Penang. Undeniably, I felt the happiest there. With my poor cousin YK being my very own "Ahmad" =P and giving me a beautiful butterfly pendant for my birthday present. Thank you, gor, muackssss love you so much <3. face="times new roman">


Fishes swimming under the sea. LOL

The whole bunch of Patrick Nicole bought during our trip all around Penang. DAMN PATRICKS. We actually went hunting around for them =.= My legs still feel shaky due to excessive walking. LOL.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.... Don't you feel like you could drown in them??? Fuck.

Gor Gor was our first victimized "model" for some of the Patricks we bought. HAHA! Gor you look so cute with that thing there =P

Vain people take vain pictures. Taken the night just before our departure back to KL.

And so, the holiday in Penang ended just like that. I'd love to remember the experience always. Can't wait to get my ass back there in March =) I've got like a 3 day holiday and I'm grabbing that chance. Wait for me!!!

Gor gor missed me and Nicole so much that after 2 days of returning back to KL he called me up to tell me that he's coming down to KL with his friends. zzz. I was shocked yet touched. Happy to have him around and I think I havent had a decent nap for 1 week. Last couple of days after Nicole left did I have sufficient rest. I must say I'ma miss my babe. Love you lots. Hope time will come when we could really experience LIFE together. New York, babehhh... Don't get pregnant too early arh =.= Fucking cucuk you with kayu balak then you know. LOL

So most of the stuff I wanted to say, have been said. Thank you for visiting my rusty blog. =)
PENANG PENANG PENANG FEVER!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxo,
With Love,
Your Babe. <3