Everybody Needs.

It's been such a long long time since I've typed in entries into this blog. It feels like it's growing webs in here. Months and months have gone by, many things have happened and too many complicated feelings existed in between these passing months. Sad to say, I'm not studying in Taylor's anymore. Neither am I smoking half a pack a day anymore, cos I'm doin at least a full pack now LOL.
Bite my tongue cos I don't know where to start from myself. It's like a pit hole filled with burning flames and I'm falling right into it, and I gotta save myself from it all myself. =.=
It's also like never ending blow of fists punching my face again and again and again and I dunno how long I can take it. My poor babes have so many problems and I feel like we're all drowning inside this massive fireball where everybody needs shelter and comfort. Of course, the better of us which do not have serious cases would intend to provide shelter and comfort to the ones who are in major shit. I guess I consider myself fortunate because although I know I'm in major shit, I do not regard myself as being in major shit because I've got strong self control. In the eyes of people, I may seem to be fine and I'd try not to get people involved into whatever shit I'm having. Cos I know I caused the whole mess myself and I need to clean it up myself, but I seriously doubt anybody would rescue me if I died. Everybody needs help. I know I do. I support my friends and I know I'd be there whenever anybody needs me. I'd get myself in trouble because I wanna help people but when I need somebody to at least care I couldn't find any.
Could somebody tell me why?
Maybe it's my problem things are so fucked. But I dunno why I'm typing this, maybe I'm just fucking crazy. Oh well... Tomorrow's a better day.
Please let me die.